The stock market is at itslowest in nearly ten years. The American economy is inshambles. Major investment banks like Lehman Brothers havecollapsed. Basically, people are freaking out.
But I say, turn those frowns upside down! Instead of worrying about putting food on the table, why doesn’t everyone just play videogames? Sure, it may be hard to hear what is happening on-screen over the deafening sounds of your starving children’s cries, but that’s what headphones are for.
If you are one of the millions of Americans affected by these troubling financial times, hit the jump for a list of the five best videogames to play during a stock market crash. Who knows? This information could change your life.
5.Vegas Stakes(SNES)
Oh no! You only have one hundred dollars left in your bank account. Instead of spending it on clothes or shelter, here is what you need to do: Find a copy ofVegas Stakesfor the Super Nintendo, purchase it, and enjoy learning the basics of gambling! With any luck, the skills you learn inVegas Stakeswill transfer to the real world. Before you know it, you will own a Las Vegas hotel and all the legal prostitutes you can handle!
Even better — since you may need a little extra cash when starting your new life — you’re able to sell your basic SNES controller.Vegas Stakescan be controlled with theSuper Nintendo mouse!
4.Earthbound(SNES)
Sadly,Earthboundtakes place in a fictitious version of the planet Earth, but there are some things in the game that could help out a struggling member of real-life society. I have never done it myself, but who knows? Maybe youdoearn cash from killingdogs,kids on skateboards, andpolice officers.
If the world was likeEarthbound, no one would ever have to worry about money again (and there would be a lot less of those annoying kids on skateboards hanging around causing a ruckus).
3.Yaris(Xbox Live Arcade)
Yaris is afreedownloadable game for Xbox Live Arcade, so it is obviously the perfect purchase for someone who just lost his/her job. It is also quite possibly the worst thing ever created, thereforeguaranteedto make anyone’s life look better in comparison.
2.Crackdown(Xbox 360)
Did you just lose your entire life savings from the awful economic downturn? Is the government about to repossess all your belongings? Is there nowhere else to turn? After playingCrackdown, you will possess the knowledge to know exactly how to scale a building and then … well … jump right off.*
*Actual meeting with sidewalk may differ from in-game result (although the concrete may still crack).
1.Thief(PC)
