Nerve.com— the Internet’s answer to the cosmopolitan ideal women have created for people based on televised philosophies exuded bySarah Jessica Parker’sHarpy Attack Force Alpha— stumbled upon the strikingly brilliant idea of asking video game devs for sex advice. After all, who knows sex better than people who stereotypically have never seen a breast, and who still believe me every time I mention the sideways orientation of Japanese cooters?

That said,the information they giveis pretty spot on. Nerve hit up two chaps fromRed Fly Studiosand a chap and chapette from Zombie Andy Warhol’s favorite dev houseKokoromi, and while most of what they say is common sense, they touch on topics ranging from gigantic dildos to banging the roomie; important info that every young bachelor and bachelorette needs to know before the trials of the opposite sex drive them to drink, or stab white folks in the hopes of getting off due to innate racial tensions.

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Sure, it’s not exactly coverage of the Teapot Dome Scandal, but if you’re tired of hearing about thatdamn blue hedgehogand feel the need to find out what the people behindthisthink of your slutty exhibitionist girlfriend, you’ve now got the link.

[Propers toN’Gai]

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