Two games have recently been released that bear several striking similarities. Both of these games are open-world sandbox titles featuring superpowered antiheroes who begin to realize a host of awesome abilities with which to distribute justice and/or malice as they see fit. While they share a lot of features, the two games are certainly distinguishable, taking the superhero model in different directions.
However, that doesn’t mean we’re not going to compare and fight about them anyway, just because we can.
Contrasting the two games, it is very obvious thatPrototypeis better thaninFAMOUS, and anybody who disagrees is a despicable moron who doesn’t know anything about videogames and should probably just die. Read on to feel justified in agreeing with me, or to be shamed by just how incorrect and rubbish at life you truly are.
1. Alex Mercer isn’t a pussy:
Apparently, Cole is supposed to be a superhero, which doesn’t explain why, exactly, he’s an utter pussy who couldn’t hold his own in a fight against Anne Frank. While Mercer is able to take on an entire army, a special forces group,anda city full of infected mutationsat the same time, Cole struggles against junkies and hobos, barely able to defend himself against a few druggies dressed in trashbags. It’s disgustingly pathetic.
Mercer is pulling the tops off tanks, hijacking helicopters, and absorbing monsters into his own skin. Cole is hanging off the sides of buildings take wimpy little electric potshots at some loser with a shotgun. If Cole were to audition for the Justice League, Batman would give him a wedgie and then laugh him out of the building. He’d be right to do so. If Mercer turned up for the same audition, he’d probably just eat Batman. This is because Mercer isn’t dickless like Cole is.
2. Chain link fences:
On the subject of Cole being a pussy, what kind of lame, worthless “hero” can’t deal with a chain link fence? Many are the times ininFAMOUSwhen enemies will safely hide behind fences, happily shooting the shit out of you while your electricity attacks harmlessly disperse along the metal that stands between you and retribution. Unable to do anything to remove the fences, Cole is absolutely helpless in this situation. Quite why the game’s villains didn’t just trap him in a big metal chainlink box, I do not know. He’d have been able to do nothing butcry.
While playingPrototype, I came across a few chain link fences. Remembering Cole’s shame frominFAMOUS, I conducted a little test titled, “Is Alex Mercer defeated by fences like that idiot Cole?” The result of this test is very conclusive —Alex Mercer can punch chain link fences into tiny fucking pieces. Mercer is to fences what Ed Kemper was to the severed heads of college girls. If any enemies dared to stand behind a fence and shoot at Mercer, he’d pull that shit right down and then cut the prick into tiny little pieces. Meanwhile, all Cole has to do isseea bit of thin metal and he runs away with shit streaming down his legs.
3. Upgrades:
BothinFAMOUSandPrototypefeature an experience system that can be used to upgrade characters. However, onlyonegame features upgrades that are actuallyworthgetting. If you’d have guessed thatinFAMOUSwas that game, you’d be a fucking twat.
Let’s compare the two experiences — after several hours of playinginFAMOUS, I had finally eked enough XP to purchase one or two powers that werebarelyuseful. After five minutes of playingPrototype, I had more XP than I knew what to do with and was soon gliding from the rooftops, slicing people to bits with claws, and performing mid-air dashes.Prototypeshowers the players with rewards and then treats them like a kid in a candy store.inFAMOUSmakes you work severely hard, earningmaybeup to 5 XP per kill, for such shitty powers as “barely effective stomp attack that usually causes more harm than good” or “melee damage that you won’t need because enemies are always hiding miles away from you.”
Prototypehas more upgrades, better upgrades, andbetter upgrades for those upgrades.inFAMOUShas a rubbish gliding ability that Mercer embarrassingly outmatches.
4. Prototype isn’t spelled all stupid:
Seriously,inFAMOUS? What the fuck is with that grammar?Prototypeis justPrototype. It’s notprTROToTYpEorpr0t0typ3orP.R.O.T.O.T.Y.P.E.SimplyPrototype. inFAMOUS is stupid and pretentious. That kind of spelling makes it look like Apple designed the game. It’s a fucking videogame, not a shitting iPod.
inFAMOUSloses the battle of the names, which is arealandseriousbattle and not just an arbitrary, contrived point of contention invented to generate fanboy rage. Sony should come back when it learns to spell things properly, not like some 14-year-old girl’s LiveJournal.
Seriously, PlayStation? With a capital S!? GET REAL, SONY! Or should I say sOnY!?
P.S: Some people have tried to argue thatPrototypeis spelled[PROTOTYPE]and this is stupider. It’s actually not though. Brackets aren’t letters so it is not a spelling you idiots, and sometimes Sega can be spelled SEGA. Because of these reasons, this means I am still right. I have reasons.
5. Enemy variety:
Say what you will aboutPrototype(although mainly say it’s better thaninFAMOUS, because it is), the game certainly doesn’t shy away from having a variety of enemy types with which to deal. Tanks, choppers, soldiers, supersoldiers, mutants, robots, there is plenty to fight and plenty of ways to go about it.inFAMOUScomes up short yet again, thanks to enemies that pretty much behave in exactly the same way from the very start of the game to the very end.
The gangs ofinFAMOUSlook pretty good, but there is nary a difference between them. The Reapers and the Dustmen are just model swaps as opposed to anything else. Occassionally you get a powerful opponent called a Conduit, but they are few and far between, leading to the same, repetitive battles throughout the whole experience.
Also,inFAMOUSis ghey. I saw it being ghey a bit and it looked at me when it did it.
6. ThePrototypecomic book has an awesome rapetrap story in it:
In thePrototypecomic book, there is a bit set in Vietnam, and some soldiers are talking. One of the soldiers mentions his friend, who tried to rape a fourteen-year-old girl but was unsuccessful because he, and I quote, “Got his dick sliced up real good on account of the little slope sticking glass in her cooch for just such an occasion.”
Proof, if proof be needed, that Prototypeis better thaninFAMOUS.InFAMOUSdoesn’t evenhavea comic (that I’ve been bothered to read), let alone one with Vietnamese cooch glass rapetraps.
7. Running up buildings > Climbing like a spastic monkey:
Mercer and Cole both have very different ideas about what Parkour is. One of them thinks the best way to get around town is to slowly climb up buildings, trying to guess where the player wants to go and generally grabbing the wrong thing to frustrate everybody and become a prone target for enemies. One of them just runs the fuck up a building and then flies to wherever the Hell he wants to go.
One of them’s a total prick. One of them is called Alex Mercer and he likes to run up buildings. While playing as Mercer, you can dash through the streets and gleefully have him jump instantly over cars, push through crowds and dash up vertical surfaces. As Cole, you can run a bit fast and be worried about jumping in case he magnetizes himself to a lamp post or whatever else happens to be in the way. That is when Cole doesn’t just glitch through the road.
8. Water:
“Wah wah wah, I’m Cole, I can’t get wet because I’m full of electric magic and that means I’ll get hurt!” Cry me a river, bitch. Oh wait, you can’t because if you did that you’d get wet andthen you’d die! What a frigging pansy. Cole can’t get wet because he’s an immense wanker and gets hurt just whenever he touches the stuff.
Once again, you come up trumps onPrototype. If Alex Mercer happens to fall in water, he stays submerged for a second before thinking, “fuck this drowning shit” and leaps heroically out of the blue and onto dry land. Meanwhile, Cole can’t even take a bath and so obviously stinks of shit and smegma. How can he even drink? He can’t, apparently. Cole is destined to die of thirst, while Mercer can drink whatever the hell he likes.
10.Final Fantasy XIIIis coming to the Xbox 360:
The last and most important point is thatFinal Fantasy XIIIis coming to the Xbox 360, even though PS3 fans said itnever everwould. This means they were wrong about it, and if they were wrong aboutFFXIII, who knows whatelsethey could be wrong about? Maybe, for example, they could be wrong aboutinFAMOUSbeing better thanPrototype, since every PS3 fan on the planet obviously lovesinFAMOUSso much? Yes, yes that is exactly the thing that has happened that I am writing about!
Square Enix’s personal and hate-filled betrayal of everything PS3 fans hold dear is proof positive thatPrototypeis better thaninFAMOUS, as well asKillzone 2,UnchartedandLittleBigPlanet. I have come to this conclusion using a little thing calledlogic, and you can’t dispute logic, so don’t even bother trying you idiot.
There you have it. I have sufficiently proven thatPrototypeis blatantly better thaninFAMOUS, and if for some reason you still don’t agree with me, you are obviously some sort of fucking retard who needs to go drown in a swamp.
