People, strap yourselves in and prepare for a rollercoaster of breaking newsinsanity.Sadness, a game that is about as real as talking puffins and imps with fairydust up their arseholes,has NOT been announcedfor release on the Nintendo Wii. What a shock, eh? We were all so certain that this pure fantasy was actually going to appear, but apparently Nintendo hasn’t even sanctioned it:

At this time,Sadnesshas not been announced for release on the Wii console. Since this title would most likely come from one of our third-party licensees, I’d suggest contacting them for more information.

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In all seriousness, this is pretty damning evidence that developer Nibris has actually developed bugger-all and the recent tease of aSadness-based holiday card floating about is just that — a tease and nothing more. From the sound of the statement it made, Nintendo hasn’t even heard ofSadness. We’ll seeDuke Nukem ForeverbeforeSadnesseven gives us a gameplay video. At least we know what the bloody hellDuke Nukemis about.

IfSadnessis ever released for the Wii, I will record myself masturbating to pictures of Hulk Hogan and put the video online for everybody to see. That’s a personal guarantee, one more trustworthy than Nibris could ever make.

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