The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrimis one of the most talked about games on the E3 show floor, and with good reason — it’s f*ckingridiculous!

The demonstration’s first example of combat features a wolf getting KICKED IN ITS STUPID WOLF FACE! That’s theopeninggambit, and it only gets better from there. Finishing moves are just part of a completely overhauled combat system in which you STAB GOBLINS IN THE BACK AND SKEWER ELVES THROUGH THEIR DUMB NECKS!

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The Plasmid-like magic system is absurd as well. Maybe you’d like to dual-wield a Detect Life and Frenzy spell SO YOU CAN SEE TWO IDIOTS THAT ARE A MILE AWAY AND THEN MAKE THEM GO BERSERK AND FIGHT EACH OTHER AND THEN YOU JUST STROLL UP LIKE A TOTAL PIMP AND FINISH THEPRICKLEFT STANDING!

Oh, and let’s talk about dragons … AWWWW YEAH, RANDOM DRAGONS, FOOL, THAT CAN BREATHE FIRE OR ICE OR WHATEVER AND YOU MIGHT RUN AWAY FROM ONE AND DO A QUEST IN A DUNGEON AND COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE BUT …. DAAAAAAMN, SON, THAT DRAGON WAS LOOKING FOR YOU AND IT FOUND YOU!

Battlefield 6 aiming RPG at a helicopter

AND THERE ARE GIANTS HERDING MAMMOTHS, AND YOU CAN CLIMB UP A MOUNTAIN, AND YOU CAN CHANGE THE ENTIRE GAME’S WEATHER AND MAKE A STORM ATTACK A MONSTER, ANDFOR GOD’S SAKEA GIANT SPIDER IS IN IT AND A DRAGON PRIEST WHATEVER THAT IS AND OH GOD THIS GAME IS GRRRRRNNNGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAARRRGGGHH!

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PEAK Bing Bong plushie

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