Part of me hates writing these posts, because, hey, if you’ve seenoneepisode of game-oriented television in the ’80s, you’ve more or less seen them all. We’re at that age now where we can all look back and realize thatThe Wizardwas a marketing stunt,Nick Arcadecontestants were developmentally disabled, and “tips” almost always meant “dodge and hit the enemy with your weapon”. These shows were awful, and a crime against every lad they suckered into appearing on, watching, or eventhinkingof watching them.
But much like the eternal flame memorial you made for your cat when he drank a quart of paint thinner and exploded into chunky kibble, I’m posting this video so we can remember those who fell victim to the darker days of gaming television. G4’s a pile of crap, sure. But Video Power waspile of crappier.
Video Power’s previous incarnation was a cartoon starring Acclaim characters. I’m going to repeat that: a cartoon starringAcclaimcharacters. This included Tyrone fromArch Rivals, Kuros fromWizards & Warriors, and Big Foot. What? No, not that Big Foot. The f**kingtruckBig Foot. The show metamorphosed into a game show starring the misanthropic coke-fueled Johnny Arcade lording over a corral of maladroit kids, making them play games and ask pre-scripted obscure trivia questions (“What boss characters are based in the Bronx?” Yeah, that was a burning question for 8-year-olds around the country).
As a reward for enduring such punishment, producers would shovel copies ofKarate KidandDr. Jekyll and Mr. Hydeupon the kids, which isproduceresefor “go home and kill yourself“, if you weren’t already aware. There’s a swell place toread up on the horrors that lurked behind the camera, if you’re interested, and you can hit the jump for the rest of episode one and three more complete episodes of Video Power. Abandon hope, all ye who yadda yadda et cetera.
