While we eagerly anticipate the arrival of our final retail review copy ofRock Band*,Game|Life’sChris Kohler thinks it’s necessary to rub it in our faces. The band kit and game arrived at Game|Life’s offices today (read: Chris’ apartment), and they were nice enough to document the unboxing ordeal that comes along with it. Surely, the package is huge, and what did you expect? Drums, a microphone, a guitar, a USB hub, and a game are all shoved into the box....

Continuing the semi-new fad of coaxing cash from your customer’s metaphorical teats until they’re metaphorically red and sore and start exuding some kind of metaphorical greenish mucous, Team 17, the underappreciated geniuses behind theWormsfranchisewill be unleashing some new DLCfor the XBLA iteration ofWormstomorrow. The content will include the requisite gamer pics, and themes (at the typical 100-200 MS Point range), as well as three new landscapes: Hell (150 MS Points), Jungle (150 MS Points) and Space (0 MS Points)....

[Update:It’s out in North America now, too. Download away!] The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Anniversary Editionhas released in Europe and Australia, ready for download on both DSi and 3DS. The free game is available for a “limited time” only, so consider this a public service announcement! Four Swordsis a re-release of the bonus game bundled withA Link to the Paston Game Boy Advance. The four-player adventure now has a single-player mode, because there’s no online feature and it seems even Nintendo knows that local handheld multiplayer barely happens outside of Japan....

Most of us sensible people call them videogames. One particular group simply calls them “violence.” That particular group calls itselfThe Timothy Plan. Most sensible people call themmorons. The Timothy Plan is a mutual fund group that “only invests in companies who reach very quantifiable moral and ethical standards.” Group founder Art Ally isparticularly interestedin shying away from companies that “provide products that harm children.” Of course, those products are naturally videogames … sorry,violentvideogames....

I hate to admit this, but 1up’sJeremy Parishis way cooler than I am. It’s really depressing to think about. Well, okay, maybe he just took the time to register far more Wii friend codes than I ever would. So maybe that makesmecooler; I don’t know. It’s all so very confusing.In either case, this video of 1007 Miis marching in a Mii Parade is demonstration of one extremely impressive feat. I’ve yet to see more than 15 Miis gather on my Wii; they’re lonely and scared....

In today’s geography lesson for game developers, the case ofAssassin’s Creed: Brotherhood. Made by a multicultural team with various religious beliefs. Published by one of Europe’s biggest games publishers. And they put Moscow in Poland. The map also reflects the current layout of European borders as opposed to 1500’s Europe. I never really thought about that and I haven’t gotten far enough inBrotherhoodyet to actually use the larger map. During the early 16th century era you play in, Poland was actually quite large....

Part of me hates writing these posts, because, hey, if you’ve seenoneepisode of game-oriented television in the ’80s, you’ve more or less seen them all. We’re at that age now where we can all look back and realize thatThe Wizardwas a marketing stunt,Nick Arcadecontestants were developmentally disabled, and “tips” almost always meant “dodge and hit the enemy with your weapon”. These shows were awful, and a crime against every lad they suckered into appearing on, watching, or eventhinkingof watching them....

At this year’s Tokyo Game Show, some of the most fun I had was at Taito’s booth,playingArkanoid DS. But it certainly wasn’t because the latest iteration ofArkanoidhad some sort of stellar gameplay mechanics. No, it was because the attached paddle peripheral not only felt good in your hand, but truly brought that old-school arcade experience home. So without Taito taking some money out of its marketing budget to ship us all a USB paddle peripheral, this online Flash demo of the upcomingArkanoid DSis really only winning half the battle....

Rather quick update on theBattlefield 3boycott front. DICE now says that the content in the Physical Warfare Pack, a pre-order incentive, will be unlocked for everyone later this year. So “if you do not pre-order, you will still get access to this content at a later date, free of charge. If you do pre-order, you will get access to it from day one.” While it’s likely not the outcome the upset fans would have ultimately wanted — those with a pre-order are still getting certain weapons before everyone else rather than the pre-order bonus itself being scrapped — it’s what we’re going to get, and it’s better than nothing....

Apparently I suck majorly at first-person shooters. A genre I’ve only recently gotten into, thanks to games likeLeft 4 Dead,Half Life,Team Fortress, andBorderlands, I figure I’m a capable FPS player after a couple rounds of introduction. Nope. You see, I tried three hours of multiplayer rounds ofBattlefield: Bad Company 2, and proceeded to get my ass handed to me by the PR reps, by my fellow journalists, and even the assistants to the journalists....

While other gaming Web sites rushed to blast out the news of Nintendo’s profits more than doubling this year, we here at Destructoid took our sweet ass time with it, saving it for the mid-afternoon, post-lunch blah time slot. How’s that for service? So yeah, Nintendo made more money — big surprise, right? Actually, the numbers are pretty impressive. Riding on the back of Wii and the DS, Nintendo has managed to double up in a a half year’s time, jumping from 54....

For those out there who are PC gamers and also fighting fans you might want to gather everything you own and move to France. The French publisher ofBlazBlue: Calamity Trigger, Tradewest Games SAS, is releasing the game not only on the 360 and the PS3,but also the PC. Time to look into upgrading to a nice, big HD monitor for your computer, because playingBlazBlueon anything else would be uncivilized. The press release does not mention any PC releases for the rest of the world because it’s a French press release for the French release, but that doesn’t mean PC gamers outside of France should give up hope....

“Dark Corners” isn’t a traditional bit of downloadable content. The upcomingGears of War 2DLC will be multiplayer heavy as per Epic Games standard, however, nestled underneath the seven maps is a new downloadable campaign mission. A mission with a twist, no less: go guns blazing or sneak. Recently, Cliff Bleszinski gave Major Nelson a rundown of the ninety-minute campaign slice and revealed that the DLC was originally “snipped” from the game....